Decision/Chance

In thinking of process, the weight of decision becomes paramount. There are several ways to approach the philosophy of decision-making, but in this series, the question looms: to what degree does one control one's decisions, and of what significance is that control?
Upon the completion of panel#17, the process of observation combined with dictation/record-keeping has illuminated the finer points of production. If I can pare down the basic elements of these compositions and clarify the language by which I interpret them, then I need to look deeper into why these elements exist in the forms that they do.
So many of the bygone decisions made in the evolution of these drawings are now a priori; in order to awaken these 'lost senses' of decision-making, there must begin a collection of decision making tools that will assist in the realization of every element of the composition. In order to design these tools, each and every little line, point, color, number, length, and position will have to be scrutinized and then I will have to design the decision tools to function in such a way as to allow me to have some control over the final result. To give up all control over the final image is simply unthinkable to me right now. I have to have some control over what happens on these panels in order to make images that will function successfully in an aesthetic arena.
The control that I need to have will manifest as a control over the labeling of areas of the grid (if the columns of the right and left side have the same names, their representation is half of the representation of rows that are each individually named across the two sides), of creating schemes (for example, if one color is drawn as a starting point, all subsequent colors must follow according to order), and in the design of the tools themselves (if I draw rocks from a bag, I might learn to recognize the subtle differences in the shapes of rocks that I prefer). Maybe, one day, I will learn to love and trust chance, but right now I feel as though I would just be left out; as though all of my hard-earned individual artistic knowledge and expertise on the subject were worthless (uh ohhh...not ready to explore that...).
Currently, this project is a tool for dissection, and a meditation on decision-making. It is like a child that will endlessly ask, "why?", and then about the point when the answerer will finally run out of answers.

Glass Chaos Drawing #1

The glass panel study for #12. Looking again at the Glass Chaos Drawings, I realize that I will have to go buy a thicker leaded mechanical pencil. Not ink, and not black, but thicker pencil. This piece is 12" by 12" by 2", acrylic on two panels of glass made in 2008.

Panel 2 (from drawing #12)

I have begun the second panel, this time with somewhat larger text and much larger points. My organizational system is greatly improved, and I wish that I had begun with this drawing (from an original drawing made in Quito in 2006 labeled #12 on the back of the paper- obviously made before #17). The fact that this drawing has only two 'poles' and a left and right rather than hemispheres makes it much less complicated to observe than #17.

Finished drawing; Finished Piece?

All elements of the drawing have been completed, with some mistakes and modifications, and every step is dutifully recorded. However, I do not consider this to be a finished piece.

After much deliberation, I have decided not to darken any lines within the grid; the delicate look of the thin grey lines is better than any previous attempts I have made to create these drawings with thicker or darker ink. My hope is that the lightness of the lines will draw viewers closer to the surface (yet to be seen...)

The text on the margins of the grid have presented many problems: One; if this piece is hung on a wall, reading the text (which is written from all directions--often upside down or sideways), is problematic. Two; reading the text is problematic anyway because it is cryptic and confusing, and lacks any obvious systematic organization. Three; the effect of the small lettering is a bit too distracting; I would like to see the text, but still recognize the grid drawing as the dominant visual element. Given these problems with the current configuration of the text, it cannot be removed from the immediate borders of the drawing. Putting the rules on a panel to the side or otherwise detaching them from the creative surface would not serve my purposes conceptually; I do not want them to come off as contrived or gimmicky, and I don't want to elevate them to some self-important stand alone status. Their role in the drawings must be on level with, or slightly less emphasized than the finished image.

Some of these problems can be solved in this piece: A stand to support the surface as a tabletop can easily be built, allowing for viewing in-the-round (this also forces viewers to approach the piece more intimately), and a darker pencil line can be drawn around the perimeter of the grid, framing the drawing and giving it emphasis. Other of these problems however, will have to be solved in subsequent pieces; I now know what structural elements need to be clearly labeled, and can more systematically observe the individual steps (I would like to eventually get them down to one-line equations...). What I hope to see happen is the evolution of a symbolic language that informs these drawings, one that is clear and concise and can assume a more aesthetically pleasing role.

I am not yet going to seal this surface, but I am getting started on the next.